09/01/1996      Brains and Eggs

Four aliens arrive on earth, form human bodies and assume the identities of Dick, Sally, Harry and Tommy -- the "Solomon family" -- for the purpose of conducting experiments and observing life on this planet.  The Solomons find an apartment in Rutherford, Ohio, a college town where they landed and meet their new landlady, Mrs. Dubcek.  Dick secures a job as physics professor at the university, where he's fascinated by Nina, his secretary, and finds himself strangely attracted to Dr. Mary Albright, his office-mate—but a misunderstanding over her thesis leaves her angry while Dick is frustrated and confused.  Harry and Sally get a cooking lesson from Mrs. Dubcek, which sends Sally screaming from the kitchen. Dick gets his own lesson in "feelings" from his physics class, while Tommy, in the throes of puberty and in hot pursuit of the girls' volleyball team, longs to get out of his body and off the planet. But at Dean Sumner's faculty party, Dick decides that the mission must be extended for further "experiments" with Dr. Albright. Departure is postponed indefinitely.

16/01/1996      Post Nasal Dick

Tommy's "make-out session" has an unintended consequence: he catches a bug and the crew gets its first taste of human illness. Martha Stewart has a cameo curing Harry with her apple cobbler.  Dick tells Mary he's an alien, but she assumed he was delirious because of the fever.

23/01/1996      Dick's First Birthday

When Nina inquires about Dick's birthday to update her records, Dick has no idea how to respond - the concepts of age and acting his age are meaningless to him. Harry gets hooked on self-help tapes. Dick informs the other aliens that they need to know how old they are and they also need birthdays. Dick gets upset when he determines that, as a middle-aged man, he's past his prime, but Sally concludes that if she has to be a woman, she's at the ideal age and has the body to prove it. In Tommy's health class the subject is sex, but he's unimpressed with the information he's getting, so for his project on female reproduction he brings Sally to class. To the amusement of Nina and Dr. Albright, Dick attempts to look younger by dyeing his hair black and wearing a ridiculous outfit to work. Finally Dr. Albright teaches Dick that since life is short, we should forget about age and just enjoy the ride.

30/01/1996      Dick Is From Mars, Sally Is From Venus

Dick gives Tommy an assignment to check out high school, an institution that in four short years can "take a bright, inquisitive child and spit out a burger-flipping automaton." Sally, in a quest to experience sex, goes out on a date and returns home giggly and girlish, only to be devastated when Brad, her date, doesn't call as promised.  Dick is summoned to Tommy's school, where he is informed that Tommy has problems with authority. His response leaves Tommy's teachers speechless. Dick attempts to bond with Tommy, father to son, with no success whatever. Dr. Albright and Nina take Sally out for drinks to console her about her dating problems. Sally concludes that she's part of a huge cosmic joke: men and women are two entirely different species, forced to co-exist as best they can on the same planet.

06/02/1996      Dick, Smoker

While Sally does a slow burn at being the often-overruled second in command, Dick lights up his life by taking up smoking.

13/02/1996      Green-Eyed Dick

Dick discovers the emotion of jealousy when Dr. Albright's old boyfriend returns to visit on a promotional tour of the novel he dedicated to her; Harry adopts a stray dog.

20/02/1996      Lonely Dick

Dick's one lonely guy when Dr. Albright goes on vacation; Sally and Harry are lured by skin-care products that promise eternal youth.

27/02/1996      Body & Soul & Dick

When an obnoxious professor dies during a party in his honor, Dick finds the will specifies that he must deliver a "forthright and honest" eulogy about the universally despised academic. Meanwhile, Tommy neglects his female pal August to hit it off with an "easy" cheerleader.

04/03/1996      Ab-Dick-ted

Dick receives a roundabout lesson in family values from Dr. Albright's loopy brother, who claims to have been abducted by aliens.

12/03/1996      Truth or Dick

Dr. Albright uses flattery to convince Dick to attend a faculty meeting in her place, but Dick immediately alienates the group by innocently revealing Dr. Albright's true feelings: that they're a bunch of stodgy, boring old men. Confronting a furious Albright, perplexed Dick begins learning that "truth" can have many degrees and nuances.  Meanwhile, Harry and Sally decide that they must have drivers' licenses, and Sally quickly discovers that flattery can often be very useful. And Tommy experiences the mall, inhabited by "adolescent aliens" much like himself, and feels that he's found his true home at last.

19/03/1996      The Art of Dick

While Dick and Harry take up painting (Harry takes to it; Dick doesn't), Sally takes over the school bake sale with the gusto of Gen. Patton.

26/03/1996      Frozen Dick

A snowstorm -- the Solomons' first -- spoils Dr. Albright's trip to Chicago, leaving her stranded in a truck stop with Dick.

02/04/1996      Angry Dick

The Solomons learn about the give and take necessary to human friendships when they turn their anthropological gaze to the next-door neighbors.  According to Dick, there's a meteorite to hit Earth in 2015.

09/04/1996      The Dicks They Are A-Changin'

Harry joins a CD club and finds the responsibilities of membership overwhelming. When Nina tells Dick that Stanford has no graduate records on him and Dick reacts defensively, Dr. Albright observes that it's virtually impossible to get a straight answer from Dick about his past. As Dr. Albright reminisces about her wild, rebellious times at Berkeley and Mrs. Dubcek contributes some colorful recollections, Dick chides Tommy that, as information officer, he failed to brief the crew on the crucial sixties decade.  Dr. Albright becomes convinced that Dick is actually Manny Rosenberg, a sixties activist whom she knew briefly and who has been in hiding from the FBI for decades. Dick denies this but soon realizes that his presumed identity has somehow made him more attractive to Dr. Albright. Later, at Dr. Albright's apartment, Dick thinks that they'll at last be having sex, but Dr. Albright angrily reveals that she and Manny had an upsetting encounter that she still hasn't gotten over, and she asks Dick to leave. But they share a warm moment afterward with confessions that they both used Dick's "Manny" identity to serve their own ends.

21/04/1996      I Enjoy Being A Dick

Dick dons a dress to infiltrate Dr. Albright's women-only study group; Sally and Harry get jobs at a pancake restaurant.

23/04/1996      Dick Like Me

The Solomons discover that everyone on Earth has roots but them. During a chat with Tommy's teacher Mr. Randell, Dick learns that the teenage isn't "fitting in" at school. "Of course I'm not fitting in," snaps Tommy, "to fit in, you have to be something." The question is, what to be? Dick grabs an anthropology book for the answer. "It's loaded with every possible genre of human," he marvels. "It's like a catalogue. We can take our pick." Dick picks the Italians because, according to a swooning Dr. Albright, they're the sexist people on the planet. Meanwhile, Sally's swooning, too -- for Mr. Randell.  Mary is of Irish descent. The group took their last name 'Solomon' from the side of one truck.  In the end the aliens decide that they are Jewish.

30/04/1996      Assault With A Deadly Dick

The Solomons' faith in human nature is shaken when they fall victim to crime ("This planet is in a bad neighborhood," sighs Sally). Meanwhile, Dick makes Tommy join the school basketball team.

07/05/1996      Father Knows Dick

Dick decides the reason Harry's "odd" is because he lacks a father, and sets out nurture the suddenly rebellious Harry -- who then learns that he has a"thing" in his head, a communications device the others knew about all along. Meanwhile, sparks fly when Sally meets the hostile mother of her boyfriend.

14/05/1996      Selfish Dick

The ever-present influence of television turns the Solomons' first trip to a hospital into a madcap exercise in fantasy versus reality. After Mrs. Dubcek cuts her finger, and the sight of blood leave Sally unconscious, Harry and Tommy rush them to the hospital, where the smell of sterile corridors and the gleam of surgical scrubs remind the aliens of the exciting work of their favorite TV doctors -- work that they practice on several unsuspecting patients. Meanwhile, Dick has work issues of his own when Dr. Albright finally gets her long-coveted private office.

21/05/1996      See Dick Run

Dick cuts up at a Japanese restaurant, but the big news is that he's there with Dr. Albright, who has finally agreed to date him. But just as they finally consummate their attraction, Harry receives bad news from the home planet: Dick has been replaced by a less benign duplicate, who traps him in the basement and takes charge of Dr. Albright.  Dick is the second one of the group to lose his virginity.