24/10/2000      Les Liaisons Dickgereuses

Mary's rich, spoiled sister Renata arrives in Rutherford. Dick formulates a plan to help Mary get the best of her once and for all. But Dick's falls in temptation when he gets a chance to live a life of luxury.

Tommy does not appear in this episode.

31/10/2000      Fear and Loathing in Rutherford

In an attempt to reconcile with Alissa, Tommy goes to her house with the feeble excuse that she still has the beer tap they rented for the senior party and he needs to return it. Strudwick snidely tells Tommy that he thought Alissa had given him his walking papers. But Alissa surprises her father by leaving the house with Tommy carrying a suitcase (containing the beer tap). A few hours later Strudwick goes to the Solomons' apartment looking for Alissa. Mrs. Dubcek observes that the evidence points to an elopement. Dick and Strudwick enlist Mary's help and drive off to stop the wedding.

14/11/2000      Indickscretion

High school's over for Tommy, and he decides it's time to follow the lead of Jack Kerouac and hit the road. Dick and Mary go to the movies with Sally and Don and then to dinner, and in the course of discussing the sexy movie they've just seen, Dick and Sally begin to rave about how wonderful their respective partners are in bed. Both Mary and Don are mortified.  Tommy, with Harry tagging along, arrives at a broken-down gas station at the edge of Rutherford and, realizing they're out of money, sees no alternative but to go to work pumping gas.  Sally and Dick, discussing their evening out, are disturbed when they realize that neither of their partners had anything to say about their talents in bed. Don and Mary accidentally meet in a supermarket and realize that they're suddenly madly attracted to each other. They can't resist kissing before they go their separate ways.  Tommy reveals he's a talented manager as he begins to whip the gas station into shape. Dick and Sally are shocked and angry when Mary and Don confess that they shared a kiss. Tommy begins composing beat poetry about his gas station job, but it's Harry who hooks up with some rowdy characters who want him to party with them. Soon Phil, the gas station owner, and Harry tell Tommy that they're hitting the road; Tommy can run the station. But Tommy wants no part of it. He decides he's ready to go to college; Harry suggests maybe he can study Kerouac. And Sally pleads with Don to take her back; she'll do anything to satisfy him. While Mary confides to Dick that she's not in love with Don; she doesn't even like him.

Dick'll Take Manhattan (Part 1)

A very bored Dick, Sally and Harry step through the portal to another dimension (located in the bathroom's shower) and immediately find themselves in a chic Manhattan loft. It's soon revealed that Dick's a high-power attorney, Sally writes a racy newspaper column about sex, Tommy's a cast member on Saturday Night Live and Harry is president of a television network.  Dick has to try his case before Judge Nina Campbell, who will tolerate no nonsense from him. Harry sits in on a creative meeting with lots of fawning young executive types. A conservatively dressed Mrs. Dubcek is his secretary. Don is also here, but now he's mayor of New York, and he doesn't want a girlfriend who's a nut. But Sally has very little trouble breaking down his defenses, and she's happy.  Dick, however, isn't happy. He's looked everywhere, but he hasn't been able to find Mary. He goes into a bar and encounters Leon from his physics class who's the bartender. Strudwick, who's now a priest, is also at the bar. Dick turns around and sees Mary, who's holding a microphone, about to sing a song. She wears too much make-up and is cheaply dressed with a world-weary air, but she's sexy nonetheless. Dick's thrilled to see her. Mary's a failed actress who has changed her name to Kiki Lyle. The years haven't been kind to her, but Dick's just happy that he's found her. Tommy, whose career on Saturday Night Life has exploded, decides the time is right to dump his very new girlfriend and fellow cast member. And Sally's upset when she learns that her boyfriend, the mayor, has a wife.

28/11/2000      Dick'll Take Manhattan (Part 2)

Lawyer Dick romances seedy-bar-singer Mary, while Sally is involved with Don, the mayor of New York.

05/12/2000      Why Dickie Can't Teach

Tommy can't decide where to go to college, and Dick is really pushing Pendleton: when it's all said and done, Princeton and Pendleton both serve fish sticks. Dick says he'll give Tommy a personal tour of the campus. Harry wants to go too but the other aliens remind him that he's not going to college.  Meanwhile, Sally's upset that Don's not included in a newspaper article on Rutherford's ten most powerful men; she can't fathom how this is possible. Sally says maybe she's let Don down; maybe she hasn't thrust greatness upon him. It's time to rebuild him into the powerhouse he's never dreamed of being.  On campus, Mary tries to help Dick recruit Tommy, but Tommy just wants to sit in on a class. Sally decides to throw a power brunch to turn Don into a success; she invites everyone on the top ten list plus other important townspeople. At the brunch, she wangles an assistant's job for Don with Gus DeMarmel, president of DeMarmel lunchmeat; never mind that Don has absolutely no business experience. Since Don already has a job, Sally tells him to take the night shift and be an assistant during the day shift.  After sitting in on only one of Dick's classes, Tommy tells him that he's a terrible teacher, much worse than Tommy imagined. Don starts his assistant's job, and Sally couldn't be more proud. Insulted by Tommy's remarks, Dick says he's forbidden to go to Pendleton. Tommy's delighted, so Dick then informs him that he will, in fact, be going there. Tommy asks Dick what his problem is. Dick's so bad at teaching that Tommy thought he knew. Don is crazed at work when Harry and Sally show up, and he has no time for them. Tommy talks with Mary, and she confesses she feels guilty about trying to recruit him, because Pendleton's a clown college. Harry convinces Sally that Don is blowing her and is now in search of a trophy wife. Sally says she made Don, now she can break him.  When Dick proves unsuccessful at teaching some kids to play hopscotch, even Mary agrees that he's a bad teacher. Sally sabotages a project Don's working on, and he gets fired. And when Dick tells Tommy he plans to quit teaching, Tommy reminds him that no matter how good or bad a teacher he is, his real job is to be high commander.

12/12/2000      B.D.O.C.

The aliens give Tommy a big send-off to college, including two cases of beer and a fake ID, but as he's leaving Sally and Harry get ready to interview his replacement.  The candidates have materialized in the closet and are ready and waiting. Both aliens are sold on Christie, an extremely efficient young woman, until they meet the incredibly handsome Bryce. Sally's bowled over by Bryce and hires him on the spot. Harry's upset, but he's quickly overruled. Meanwhile, Dick drops Tommy off at his dorm, and they reminisce about all the missions they've been on together.  Sally's loving every minute that Bryce is around, but after Bryce's first day on the job, Dick decides to go get Tommy and bring him back. Tommy's already enjoying college and flirting with girls. Dick arrives and tries to convince Tommy to come home and go to Pendleton if he must go to college, but Tommy says he's not leaving. He does manage to convince Tommy that to impress the girls and really make a name for himself he has to come up with an outrageous freshman prank. Dick convinces him to literally turn the chancellor's office upside down, nailing everything from the filing cabinet to the ficus tree to the ceiling. Dick pulls the fire alarm as a final touch and locks Tommy in the office. At last it hits Tommy that Dick's trying to get him expelled.  Back at the apartment, Sally has given up trying to be subtle and is openly hitting on Bryce, who's very uncomfortable. Dick's disappointed when the Chancellor merely issues Tommy a warning for his offense, telling Dick he doesn't want to stifle youthful exuberance and reminiscing fondly about a few of his own college pranks. He even suggests that Tommy might like to meet his daughter.  Harry and Bryce confront Sally with the charge of sexual harassment in the workplace. Sally pretends that she's sorry and offers to resign; she heads toward the closet, but at the last second she shoves Bryce in.  That evening Dick goes to see Tommy in his dorm room and tells him he's making a big mistake, but Tommy refuses to come home. Dick has to confess that he didn't want Tommy to grow up; Tommy replies that parental love, at its best, is the only love that leads to separation, and Dick realizes that it's time for him to go.  The Solomons, without Tommy, are on the roof. Sally and Harry tell Dick that Bryce is gone; he didn't work out. Dick is saying how funny it seems without Tommy just as Tommy is coming up the back steps with a laundry basket. Since school is only an hour away, he thought he'd do his laundry at home.

19/12/2000      Red, White & Dick

After they sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" at a football game, the Solomons become enamored of all things American.

09/01/2001      Dick Digs

When Mary invites Dick to accompany her on an archeological dig, he eagerly accepts; he's seen "Raiders of the Lost Ark," so he knows how exciting and dangerous archeology can be. The Rutherford Garlic Festival is underway, and hotel rooms are at a premium. Since Dick's gone on the dig, the other aliens decide to rent out his bed. Soon the Solomons' apartment becomes "The Inn at Solomon House" with Tommy and Sally committed to giving their guests outstanding service in hopes of earning four stars in the Crown Travel Guide. Harry's not enthusiastic about the new venture, because he gets to do all the dirty work.  At the dig, Dick's disenchanted when Mary gives him a trowel, a brush and an air bulb and tells him to carefully dust the sediment in one square foot of land. Dick grudgingly gets to work and later complains that he's been working five hours and all he's found is a pointy rock. Mary's astonished when she identifies his "pointy rock" as a spear head. She sadly confesses that she's been going on digs for years and has never found anything. She's had to buy the artifacts in her office and has even gotten some from eBay. She says she would have killed to have found the ceremonial wedding moon that Dr. Powell, the leader of the dig, uncovered earlier. Dick tells her not to worry; he's sure she'll find something.  Harry's fed up with his new job and resigns; he shows up shortly afterward and wants to register as a hotel guest. If he can't be a guest, he'll write a negative letter to the Crown Travel Guide, so Sally and Tommy reluctantly allow him to register. Harry immediately becomes guest from hell, demanding constant massages and tickets to "Les Mis."  Back at the dig, Mary sees little point in continuing, because she's sure she won't find anything, but Dick insists she go on. He slyly plants something where she's been digging, and soon she unearths a wedding moon identical to the one found by Dr. Powell. She's ecstatic until it's revealed that, in fact, it is Dr. Powell's, and she's accused of being a thief. She's furious with Dick, but he assures her he was only trying to make her feel better.  Sally can't bear another minute of waiting on Harry hand and foot, so she announces that she too is quitting and will be registering as a guest. Tommy says nothing doing. He's sick of the whole thing. Together the aliens order their unsuspecting hotel guests out of their house.

16/01/2001      There's No Business Like Dick Business

While Dick and Sally form an act to entertain at children's parties, Mary and Harry get involved in Officer Don's self-defense class.

Tommy does not appear in this episode.

30/01/2001      A Dick Replacement

Dick and Mary visit Rita, a psychic, together, and Dick scoffs that the whole thing's a rip-off—until the psychic says that Dick and Mary are from two different worlds. She adds that one of these days Dick will leave Mary and go back where he came from. Dick immediately decides that he should devote himself to locating his successor, someone worthy who will wait in the wings until Dick has gone. Later, Sally tells Harry that if the psychic talked about Dick's leaving the planet, she must know they're aliens; they have to kill her.  Dick takes Mary to a singles bar in search of the perfect replacement, but he acts so strangely that the bartender thinks Mary's a hooker and asks them to leave. Harry and Sally set about hatching wildly unrealistic plots designed to do away with the psychic. Nina tells Dick about Gary Hemmings, a visiting lecturer who's dying to substitute for him. Dick talks with Gary and offers him the chance to replace him; Gary thinks he's being offered a staff position at the University. Gary's a bit puzzled when Dick insists that he meet Mary, saying that if Mary doesn't like him it will never work.  Harry and Sally visit the psychic. Harry gets her in a headlock and smears honey on her blouse. Unfortunately, he's forgotten to tell Sally that his plan involves killer bees, so she can't supply them at the crucial moment.  Dick, Gary and Mary meet in a restaurant, and Dick embarrasses and puzzles Mary as he attempts to play matchmaker. Harry and Sally re-visit Rita, who wants to throw them out, but they manage to get her to talk about herself, and she confides that she's always pictured herself dying during a passionate night of lovemaking. Harry's not sure he's up to doing the job, and Dick shows up and says he needs to speak to Rita first. He wonders how much time he has left; Harry tells Dick that however much time he has from now on, he's just a temp. Dick tells Gary he has the job and will probably be in the sack with Mary that evening. Gary protests that he won't sleep with Mary to get the job, and Dick says that sleeping with Mary is the job. In that case, Gary, who only wants a chance to teach physics, is having no part of it. When Mary finds out what's been going on, she's afraid that Dick might be dying, but he explains that he was just spooked by what the psychic had to say, and now he's decided he doesn't want to be replaced.

Tommy does not appear in this episode.

06/02/2001      Dick's Ark

Dick gets a new camera and proceeds to make Mary angry by taking her picture against her wishes. Mary decides the two need a weekend off.  Sally catches Harry walking around in the rain in her new suede jacket and decides that since the weather men can't accurately predict the rain they should pay for it. Upon going to the studio she then gets hired to be "Sally Storm" the new weather girl. Sally is told by Dick to stop being the weather girl after constantly being accurate, at which point they see that a major tornado will hit their area.  Dick then remembers the college has a bomb shelter and proceeds to allow Sally and Harry to both bring one loved one to save from the carnage. Dick has to then try and get Mary to come, and does this by making Nina think that an intervention (AA style) is in order.

Tommy does not appear in this episode.

13/02/2001      You Don't Know Dick

After everyone convinces Dick that he doesn't know what Mary likes, he tries to buy concert tickets for the two of them.

Tommy does not appear in this episode.

20/02/2001      My Mother, My Dick

When a new alien accidentally arrives through the time space portal, Dick tells Harry and Sally that it's their responsibility to take care of him. And Dick alienates Mary by taking sides with her detested mother as he tries to navigate through the minefield that separates the two women.

Tommy does not appear in this episode.

17/04/2001      Glengarry Glen Dick

Dick and Don are seduced into buying an expensive timeshare together, but their vacation paradise turns into a nightmare when they take Mary and Sally on their first getaway -- and discover the place was built on a landfill overlooking a prison. Elsewhere, Harry becomes convinced that he's shrinking after he notices that Tommy has grown taller than him, so he mistakenly visits an "enlargement" clinic in hopes of increasing his height.

01/05/2001      Dick Soup for the Soul

Dick thinks he's found the key to true happiness after reading Mary's favorite self-help book, so he rids himself of all conflict in his life -- including Mary, his main source of friction. Sally tries to help Tommy get into his college fraternity of choice by posing as the Assistant Pledge Master during Hell Week, but her grueling physical tests push Tommy to the limit. Meanwhile, Harry becomes tortured in his quest to re-paint the kitchen ceiling.

08/05/2001      Mary Loves Scoochie (Part 1)

John Cleese reprises his role as Liam Neesam, Dick's malevolent alien nemesis in the first of a special two-part episode. In part one, Dick intercepts love letters sent to Mary by "Scoochie," a secret admirer, and plots to interject himself into Mary's upcoming assignation at a Renaissance festival with the mystery man.

Tommy does not appear in this episode.

15/05/2001      Mary Loves Scoochie (Part 2)

Dick can't stop Mary from dating her secret admirer "Scoochie" (really alien Liam Neesam), even though he suspects Liam is only using her as part of his plot against all mankind. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang find the "prequel" to their favorite movie, Arthur 2.

22/05/2001      The Thing That Wouldn't Die (Double Length Episode)

Mary is having some trouble dealing with what she saw: Dick transforming Scoochie into a monkey. Dick inevitably tells her the truth and she has a hard time to believe in it. Eventually she accepts it and even becomes fascinated by it. When everything seems to be going fine for Dick, Harry announces that their mission is over and they are to leave Earth.  As a result of the manner in which Dick settled his dispute with Liam, the group is ordered home. Of course, there are always loose ends to tie up before a long space trip. Dick wants Mary to accompany them, and Sally decides to instill confidence in Don. They organize a farewell party, and Harry and Tommy decide to charge everything and not worry about being around to pay the bill. They even hire Elvis Costello to sing "Fly Me to the Moon." 

Tommy does not appear in the first part of the final episode, but he does appear in the second part.